The main issue I have with post game coverage is the general lack of personality conveyed by the majority of the league. The NHL has some of the classiest athletes and coaches in all of professional sports, but sometimes you just want to hear someone go off.
No canned responses about “working hard”, “winning the battles” and “tough challenges” (like staring at all that yellow). I would love it if there was a bit more colour in those interviews and players said what they were really thinking.
Stuff like this:
NASHVILLE PREDATORS
Head Coach Peter Laviolette – “I think I’m going to celebrate this win with a stiff drink of Jack Daniels and an ice cold Sam Adams. Read between the line, NHL award givers”.
Pekka Rinne – “Yeah, I had to leave the game with an injury. Can you call having a full Netflix queue an acceptable injury? If not, that it was my hamstring”.
Carter Hutton – “Sure, I came into the game cold, but absolute zero isn’t even as cold as the Canucks scoring these days. I knew I’d be just fine”.
Shea Weber – “I didn’t score tonight. Just couldn’t bring myself to pile on my future team”.
Mike Fisher – “I’m glad I scored a goal tonight. It’s the only way I can ensure my wife gets camera time. Who am I kidding? She gets shown every time I win a face-off”.
Mike Ribeiro – “I haven’t showered in months”.
Filip Forsberg – “I’m having a great rookie season, which puts me on pace to equal the career of the previous Forsberg stud that came before me. If I could maybe limit my injuries to 200 or so, I think I can eclipse Peter”.
VANCOUVER CANUCKS
Head Coach Willie Desjardins – “It’s my fault tonight. I got distracted trying to figure out what the hell the fans were chanting in unison that I completely forgot the game plan. It sounded like they were all reading a poem together or something. If only we prepared as much as their fans did, we’d have seen a different result tonight.”
Eddie Lack – “Would you believe me if I said that soft goal actually phased through me? I think that Forsberg kid is one of the X-men and can make solid objects go through organic matter. That is far more likely than that puck getting by me”.
Ryan Miller – “How do I feel? Have you seen the film Contagion?”
Henrik Sedin – “I’d be lying if I said we weren’t playing hurt tonight. Me and Danny had severely sprained feelings after not being selected to play in the All-Star Game”.
Daniel Sedin – “We didn’t want to play in the All-Star Game anyway. The WWE Royal Rumble is that day, so we’re pretty busy watching Dolph Ziggler win”.
Radim Vrbata – “I’m glad to be an All-Star, but Henrik and Daniel looking at me like I owe them something for the rest of the season might not be worth it”.
Shawn Matthias – “It was a regular win for Nashville, but a huge win for Ribeiro that he was able to leave the arena in one piece tonight. That greasy little sh** will get his next time”.
Alex Edler – “If only one of us can score per game, I’m glad it was my turn tonight. Might not be my turn again until April”.
Kevin Bieksa – “These guys are the best team in the league pretty much, so the fact that we only would have lost by one goal if the third period was cancelled for some reason is a silver lining for sure”.
Luca Sbisa – “Clearly that massive hit I laid in our previous game with Nashville was bulletin board material for them. Or they are just really good. Probably the second thing”.
You can follow j.Bow on Twitter (@jBowmancouver). Nashville does more for the colour yellow than mustard and cowardice combined.
